Just in case someone do not know this:
if someone is fighting against they’re eating disorder the don’t want to f*’king hear about the other goddamn girls who lost weight. every day you try to focus on getting healthy but then some stupid little girl who doesn’t know nothing about the real world comes around and is starting to talk about how thin the other girls are and how well they’re diet is going and about your own diet. you just want to fu#*ing hit them in the face.
but then they’ll start talking about boy….how cute they are and for someone who is extremely shy and who has got social anxiety, so the chance of getting a boyfriend is equal to zero, it’s annoying.
and in these kind of situation i’m asking myself: A best friend should notice that, right?
Or am I wrong?
i was very busy…..dealing with my eating disorder.
i just can’t handle it anymore :c
i don’t want to live like this anymore. it’s annoying to have these thoughts.
why can’t i be normal and healthy?!
eating is making me sad, so why should i eat?
my life is like a golden cage. at the first look it seems beautiful and nice, but if you look closer you see the rust and suddenly you realize that thats not real gold. it’s just the colour. but don’t be ashamed. everybody is thinking like you at the beginning.
just remember this, the next time you want to judge someone.
not everything that glitters is gold.
the last few days were horrible. i had exams. and my best friend is feeding me with chocolate and stuff. she definetly don’t know what she’s causing with this.
i don’t want to get fat!!!!
i want to be skinny, like the other girls.
i can’t even watch tv without feeling bad, because i see all these beautiful skinny women on the screen.
but one good thing is that it’s only 7 weeks until the summer holidays. and in the holidays i’m going to do sports and i’m going to the fitness centre.
i still have much weight to lose.
i ate way to much today but i drank very much green tea.
i’m going to buy some new green tea and crisp-bread today and tomorrow i want to try my diet again.
i hope i can do this……