it’s killing me…

i don’t want to live like this anymore. it’s annoying to have these thoughts.

why can’t i be normal and healthy?!

 

making pizza… and thoughts about my ED

 today i made pizza for my family.

and i never had the impulse to eat some of the ingredients. what i normally did in the past.

i had all kind off stuff for the pizza. onions , cheese, tuna , meat and it was like i had no appetite or hunger.

in the morning i felt very sick so i had 2 slice of toast. my 2 diet shakes i had for lunch and for dinner.

the toast gave me some kind of cravings for sweet, but i resistance.

——————————–

some minutes ago i had some thoughts about the fact that i don’t eat that much , but love to cook.

and i thought that it could be, because my body wants some kind of contact with food.

maybe thats why i really like to hear how the food i made tastes.